Former Bigbang rapper-turned-actor Choi Seung-hyun aka T.O.P breaks his silence on his controversial return to the entertainment industry
In every movie or show, there’s bound to be a fan favourite or two, be it the protagonist, antagonist, or a cameo. Among the slew of participants in Squid Game: Season 2, one player, in particular, stood out–the arrogant, purple-haired rapper and artist Choi Su-bong, aka Thanos, who commanded every scene.
The runner-up in the final of the fictional The Rap Battleground competition, Thanos was an incredibly hopped-up and unhinged character who was full of chaotic energy due to his gleeful antics during the games and ill-timed speaking of random English words. A constant source of humour from the get-go, he was a refreshing change of pace as compared to the other solemn players and arguably the highlight of Squid Game: Season 2.
The breakout character was portrayed by real-life rapper Choi Seung-hyun aka T.O.P, a former member of Bigbang. Casting the idol-turned-actor was initially met with harsh criticism due to a marijuana incident that damaged his reputation and derailed his career in 2017. The drug policy of South Korea is one of the strictest in the world and its citizens are prohibited from using drugs–even if they are abroad in a country where the use of drugs is legal.
His case led to a surge of anti-fans in South Korea, forcing the “disgraced” Bigbang member to leave the group, part ways with his agency YG Entertainment, declare his retirement, and stay out of the public eye. He has also been out of contact with the remaining Bigbang members–colleagues whom he had spent 17 years with–ever since.
Having made his comeback in Squid Game: Season 2, Choi sat down for an interview with Korean media outlets for the first time in 11 years, breaking his silence and opening up about unanswered questions and controversies.
Here are some quotes from his landmark interview:
On playing Thanos in Squid Game: Season 2
“The offer to play Thanos was a daunting proposition. The character mirrored my past, reflecting aspects I’d rather keep hidden. The fear of being pigeonholed into one role made me hesitate. But destiny seemed to be pulling me in this direction.”
“For almost 10 years, I felt like no one looked at me, but director Hwang Dong-hyuk reached out to me first. The trust (and) the belief he had in me gave me the courage to take this on. As an actor, it’s my duty to repay the trust. Excelling in my performance is another assignment in my life.”
On leaving Bigbang
“To be completely honest, I’m someone who has caused so much damage to Bigbang and my former company (YG) because of my mistakes. That’s why I’ve told my agency and the members for several years now, ‘I can’t cause any more damage, so I’ll leave the team.’ If I do something on my own and do something in the future, I’ll have to endure everything related to that and the criticism. If I go back to the team that I’ve caused damage to, I can’t bear the thought of being labelled as the person who caused the damage, and I’m tortured by it.”
On blocking fans on SNS (Korean term for social media)
“When I read the posts of fans who want a reunion or those who want to see the reunion, my heart ached. That’s because I wanted to make it clear, but I had no outlet to talk about it. I felt guilty when I read the posts of fans who wanted a reunion and when I saw photos of the members. To me, it felt like looking at photos of a family I lost. When I see things like that on SNS, unless you’re the person involved, you can’t describe the pain. I was reckless in choosing that method, but that was not my true intention.”
On arguing with fans on SNS
“I don’t think I had a war of words with the fans. At that time, some people continued to maliciously come to SNS and post malicious comments. To be honest, without making any excuses, the darkness and the difficulties I faced at that time were insane because it was a path I had never been to. It was so careless and I think it’s so heartbreaking even now. I regret it so much.”
On life after Bigbang
“For the past seven years, I’ve lived almost isolated from society, spending most of my time at home and in my music studio. I just kept working on music in the dark and the reason I did that wasn’t for any other reason, but because it was the only space I could breathe when I was making music and in front of the microphone. I think I made music to survive. So I wrote countless songs, just by listening to my own dark heart and inner turmoil. I wanted to heal myself through music and I want to share that music with my fans in some way.”
On the possibility of a Bigbang reunion
“It’d be shameful for me to do so. I already decided long ago that I didn’t want to hurt the group’s image anymore, and that has not changed. I don’t blame others for criticising me. The team and I received so much unimaginable love and praise in our 20s, and the criticism that followed is also a part of that.”